An Apology

Raw text:

AN APOLOGY

It see by the papers that Marlon Brando has apologized to the JEWS for
referring to them as “KIKES”. I feel that this gesture shows great
magnanimity of character, and deserves to be widely emulated.

Since “KIKE” is a noun, only, however, while “JEW” is both a verb and noun,
and since both words mean the same thing, it therefore follows that the
word “JEW” is at least twice as offensive as the word “KIKE”.

I therefore apologize to the KIKES of the world for referring to them as
JEWS.

I deeply regret all the pain and suffering which I may inadvertently have
inflicted upon this ancient race of coprophiliacs, urolagniacs,
menstruophobes, incest addicts, child rapists, child murderers, slavers,
pimps, pornographers, con artists, genocide artists, bloodsuckers,
extortioners, and purveryors of filth generally, by the crude, offensive,
and vulgar term of abuse — JEW — rather than by the proper term of
respect, which is — KIKE.

I trust that the present apology will be accepted in the spirit in which it
is intended.

Faithfully,

Carlos W. Porter

[Opus posthumous]